So you are offended

A. Can you overlook it?

Proverbs 19:11 (NLT) Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

B. If the conflict continues or you can not find peace by simply overlooking the offense, you must seek to address and correct the problem.

Matthew 18:15-17 (NLT) “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.  If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

Steps of reconciliation:
1. Tell the offender that you have been hurt. Try to make it right. Do not act or speak out of anger.
2. If the problem continues, try to discuss the matter again with a witness present. Be wise concerning the witness that you bring. It needs to be a fair minded, respected, and highly spiritual member of the church that loves both parties. Remember that they are there primarily as a witness and to help ensure that the matter remain civil. They should not be forced to choose sides. However, having a third party can sometimes help to mediate differences and bring restoration between the offended saints.
3. If the problem still continues, it is time to bring the matter to the attention of church leadership so that it can be handled. 

C. Regardless of how you are received, work at living in peace. Extend the same grace and forgiveness that Christ extended to you. Be diligent that you don’t become bitter towards the offender.


Hebrews 12:14-15 (NLT) Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

D. Remember that in all things, we are called to love.

1 Peter 4:8 (NLT) Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT) Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.